An obscure kabaddi player has beaten the likes of Lewis Hamilton, Jessica Ennis-Hill and Tyson Fury to pick up this year’s Sports Personality of the Year award.
Ishan Patel, from the Indian state of Tamil Nadu, was a list-minute addition to the list of nominees in recognition of his ability to hold his breathe and say ‘kabaddi-kabaddi-kabaddi’ over and over until turning blue.
Patel is known as the David Beckham of kabaddi – an ancient Asian sport which is basically tig without drawing breathe.
Unfortunately Patel was not in Belfast to collect his award. Indeed, his whereabouts are unknown following a string of rogue tiger attacks in an around his remote village.
Presenter Gary Lineker accepted the gong on Patel’s behalf.
He said: “Ishy is a true legend and one can only hope he’s not been eaten. Speaking of food, have you tried the new Beeswax and Cabbage flavour Walkers crisps. Nom, nom.’