FIFA to launch corruption investigation, ‘for nominal fee’

In other news, FIFA has unveiled its official mascot for the Qatar world cup

In other news, FIFA has unveiled its official mascot for the Qatar world cup

FIFA has vowed to investigate corruption allegations, in return for a ‘nominal administrative fee’.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter said no offshore account would be left unturned in the organisation’s bid to fully exonerate itself.

The announcement came after nine high-profile FIFA officials were arrested by US authorities on charges of racketeering, money laundering and being generally dodgy.

Mr Blatter said: “Our investigation will probably show this has all been a big mistake, but we want to demonstrate that FIFA is completely transparent.

“However, it’s going to be an expensive business, so we might need a small donation – it doesn’t have to be cash, a nice watch or a car would do. Have you seen the new Mercedes? Beautiful piece of engineering.”

Mr Blatter added that he’d not been on holiday ‘for at least a month’.

“I hear the Seychelles is nice at this time of year,” he said, “If you like, I can show you the brochure for this lovely beachside hotel I know? It would be nice to go back there…”

 

 

 

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