Channel 4 to make reality cannibalism series

Dog Eat Dog will feature cretins eating each other in the desert

Dog Eat Dog will feature cretins eating each other in the desert

CHANNEL 4 have commissioned a new series in which contestants will be given the choice of cannibalism or death.

Building on the success of Bear Gryll’s The Island – where participants were filmed suffering from starvation and dehydration – Channel 4 is to make Dog Eat Dog, which confusingly does not feature actual dogs.

Commissioning editor Rob Bruce said: “Dog Eat Dog makes The Island look like a day out at Butlins. Our participants will be dropped in the middle of a desert with five tins of beans but no can opener. If they do somehow manage to prise open the cans they’ll find them full of stones, which will be soul destroying for them, but hilarious for viewers.”

The participants, who include a lawyer, a checkout assistant and a mime artist, will have to survive in the desert for two months, although programme makers insist the area selected contains no living thing save scorpions.

“In line with Channel 4’s mission statement to bring groundbreaking and challenging programmes to the nation’s viewers, we’re hoping to film the first ever instance of human cannibalism,” Mr Bruce added.

“If they won’t eat each other we’ll maybe throw a tiger into the mix, see how that goes down.”

Mr Bruce revealed plans for a celebrity Dog Eat Dog were at an advanced stage.

“Katie Hopkins has already signed up, which will ensure almost everybody will watch in the hope she gets eaten.”

 

 

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