Watch that tells time launched

Impress everyone, by telling them the temperature

Impress everyone, by telling them the temperature

A NEW watch has been launched that tells you the time and fuck all else.

The timepiece, called A Watch, will go head to head with the new Apple Watch, which was also released this week amid excessive wanky fanfare.

A Watch was created by inventor Richard Dillon. He said: “When you need to know the time, A Watch is a great place to start.

“Yes, it has no heart rate sensor, accelerometer or gyroscope, and, no, it can’t connect to the internet. It doesn’t even have a light for God’s sake.

“However, my research shows 95% of consumers, when purchasing a watch, primarily want it to tell the time. The other five per cent valued Bluetooth capability, but they were geeky fucknuts who wanted to show off to their equally dickish friends.

A Watch is so easy to use – all you do is look at it and see where the big and little hands are pointing. It also cost some £495 less than an Apple Watch meaning you can leave the house without fear of whacking it on a door frame or something.”

 

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