POLICE heard an intruder alarm go off at the scene of the Hatton Safe Deposit jewel heist but couldn’t be arsed responding, it has emerged.
A MET officer who was on duty at the time said: “It was the Easter Bank Holiday weekend so we were all a bit lethargic having binged on chocolate eggs. We were also in the middle of a Guess Who marathon so when the alarm went off we were kind of busy. Harry had just cracked open a multipack of Monster Munch so no-one wanted to leave in case they were left with the pickled onion ones.
“Malcolm did have a quick shifty at the CCTV and saw a few guys wearing balaclavas and holding bags with SWAG written on them, but he thought nothing of it. Then John-Jo’s, like, ‘don’t worry lads, it’s only Hattons, there’s fuck all of worth there anyway’.”
Thieves made off with millions of pounds worth of jewels.
The officer added: “Yeah, we were a bit surprised by the scale of the raid, but so what? I mean, is every crime in London our responsibility? Anyone would think it’s our job to stop this kind of things happening.”