McIlroy needs his hole

Is that a three iron in your pocket...

Is that a three iron in your pocket…

RORY McIlroy really needs to get laid, it has emerged.

The world’s number one golfer is known for his laid-back character, but fellow pros on the PGA Tour revealed that in recent weeks he has been charging around like a rutting stag.

Tour veteran Steve Sticker said: “It’s like he’s suddenly hit puberty. One minute he was this nice, shy Irish lad, then suddenly he’s morphed into Kanye West. The other day I caught him picking a fight with Ernie Els because he thought Ernie was mimicking his accent. I mean, Ernie Els, The Big Easy, the nicest guy in golf!

“Then he got rip-roaring drunk, went joy-riding in a golf cart and tried to hump the eighth hole.”

Since his break-up with tennis star Caroline Wozniacki last year, it is understood McIlroy has struggled to connect with the opposite sex.

And his frustration reached boiling point at this weekend’s WGC Cadillac Championship when he threw his three iron into a lake after hitting a poor shot.

“It felt good at the time,” McIlroy admitted, “It was either lob the club or go into the rough and crack one off.”

With the Masters coming up in a matter of weeks, McIlroy has taken to Tinder to try and find a date. Should he be unsuccessful, it is feared he will explode in a mushroom cloud of semen and heavily sponsored sportswear.

 

 

 

 

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