Voters liken political leaders to cartoon penis

Dick Splash told schoolchildren how to avoid STDs - and was widely ignored

Dick Splash told schoolchildren how to avoid STDs – and was widely ignored

THE cartoon character voters most associate with Britain’s political leaders has been revealed – as a penis called Dick Splash who fronted a 1990s sexual health campaign.

The survey, by Tory peer Lord Ashcroft, used focus groups to gauge the opinion of ordinary members of the public.

Lord Ashcroft said: “Firstly, I asked them which cartoon character they thought David Cameron, Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband and Nigel Farage most resembled. Many agreed Cameron was a Dick Dastardly figure, with Ed like Mr Bean and Nick a bit similar to Fred from Scooby-doo, although I don’t see that myself.

“Then I played a clip of them speaking and everyone realised they were actually Dicks.

“Except for Farage – I didn’t need to play the clip for everyone to realise he was a Dick.”

Psychologist Georgina French explained that although the party leaders have very difficult physical attributes, it was possible for people to think they all resembled cocks.

She said: “We see these guys and think, ok, they’re not exactly Jamie Dornan but they look ordinary enough. Then they speak and suddenly they morph into penises. It’s called ocular displacement symbiosis, or something like that.”




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