ED Miliband has denied John Prescott’s return to front-line politics is a bid to inject some personality into the Labour Party.
“It’s mostly about intimidation,” Mr Miliband revealed. “I mean, Cameron doesn’t look too frightening, but I’m told he’s the wedgie king and wouldn’t even baulk at giving someone a Chinese burn. John, though – well, he punches people. On the face.
“Yes, he’s an animal – but he’s our animal.”
Quizzed on Mr Prescott’s new role as adviser on climate change, Mr Miliband admitted it was the first thing that came to mind.
“His brief is basically to stand about looking scary. I’m slightly wary about him talking, not that I can understand that ‘working-class’ accent, but I’m reliably informed he usually speaks bollocks.”
Mr Cameron immediately responded to the ‘Prezza threat’ by drafting in former Tory leader Michael Howard as a special adviser on quoits.
A spokesman for the PM said: “Michael could eat Prescott for breakfast, literally. Not for nothing did Anne Widdecombe say he had ‘something of the night about him’.”