Rabbits’ fury at sex jibes

Not getting any

Not getting any

RABBITS have reacted angrily to repeated claims they are over-sexed.

Sharon Scuttlebum, a three-year-old rabbit from Hamstead Heath, said: “I’m a virgin through choice, yeah. Most of my crew are – except Chantelle, she’s, like, a total slag.”

Her comments come after the Pope became the latest high-profile figure to criticise rabbit sex life.

“Mice are total shaggers, but does anyone have a dig at them?” added George Burrows, who has 65 daughters and 72 sons.

Youngest son Jordon said: “I can’t even get to first base, man. I was bustin’ some moves the other day to impress Shazzy and she was all, like, not a chance, dude. So, I moved onto Chantelle and, guess what? That beeyatch slapped me down too. Fucking lezzers!”

Gary Romper, an elder in his perth-based rabbit community, said: “It’s about survival, we get no joy from the physical act. If you fuckers didn’t have cars and dogs we could maybe lay off the humping for a bit.”

Colleague Michael McPumperton added: “One word: myxomatosis.”


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