It’s official: all books are ‘bestsellers’

Just words, damn words

Just words, damn words

EVERY book, even those by authors no-one has ever heard of, are bestsellers, it has emerged.

The news came as a survey by the Institute of Literature discovered 95% of book consumers only choose titles that have ‘bestseller’ written on the jacket. The remaining five per cent go even further, insisting their purchase is an ‘international bestseller’.

Sarah Caden-James from the Institute of Literature said: “Even taking into account pre-orders, it’s difficult to explain how a book that has yet to be read by anyone save the author, his mum and his editor can be a bestseller.

“Yet there it is, bold as brass on the front cover of a hardback costing 20 quid.”

Book lover Jill Telford from the Wirrall has a preference for chicklit and the history of the Crimean War.

“I always look for the ‘bestseller’ tag, because that means it’s good, right?”

However, Nigel Burton, an expert in marketing baloney, said: “Yup, it’s pretty much a load of old horseshit. ‘Bestseller’ has in effect become a meaningless word, in the same way the word ‘shocking’ has been stripped of its impact by overuse in tabloid headlines to describe the most trivial of incidents.”

But sci-fi/absurdist author Quentin Major, the man behind the bestselling Supernova trilogy, defended the terminology.

He said: “I’ve a big family and they all buy a copy of my book. So, like, amongst my family, it is a bestseller, which means I’m perfectly entitled to use the word on my front cover.”

“Em, no, actually you’re not,” said Mr Burton.

 

 

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