Ghosts search out new haunts

Damned if I'll be staying in Kirkcaldy

Damned if I’ll be staying in Kirkcaldy

GHOSTS have said they wouldn’t be seen dead in Britain’s towns.

Sheila McKay, who died five years ago after falling in the shower of her Kirkaldy bungalow, said: “Yes, it’s lamentable the number of bookies and charity shops down Main Street, but they were all I had pre-death. Now I can haunt anywhere, do you really think I’ll be floating around Semi-chem and Sue Ryder?

“Tomorrow I’m off to Dubai where they have a mall with an indoor ski slope. I’m going to sit and watch rich people fall on their twats all day.”

Bert Slater, who died 52 years ago in a freak tram accident, said: “I spent the first 30 years of my ghostlife in the ladies changing rooms of Trowbridge Victorian Baths. It was ace. Then the bastards knocked it down.

“Turns out it was a blessing in disguise – there are literally thousands of leisure clubs and spas up and down the country. It’s just a shame I can’t touch myself.”




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