GHOSTS have said they wouldn’t be seen dead in Britain’s towns.
Sheila McKay, who died five years ago after falling in the shower of her Kirkaldy bungalow, said: “Yes, it’s lamentable the number of bookies and charity shops down Main Street, but they were all I had pre-death. Now I can haunt anywhere, do you really think I’ll be floating around Semi-chem and Sue Ryder?
“Tomorrow I’m off to Dubai where they have a mall with an indoor ski slope. I’m going to sit and watch rich people fall on their twats all day.”
Bert Slater, who died 52 years ago in a freak tram accident, said: “I spent the first 30 years of my ghostlife in the ladies changing rooms of Trowbridge Victorian Baths. It was ace. Then the bastards knocked it down.
“Turns out it was a blessing in disguise – there are literally thousands of leisure clubs and spas up and down the country. It’s just a shame I can’t touch myself.”